


Farewell goes by so quickly

by Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Car Accidents, Character is already dead, Fluff and Angst, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, Supernatural Elements, and the death is not caused by it, comes with the tag, it's kind of the main plot point, mention of suicide, not graphic, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25592710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam/pseuds/Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam
Summary: When you’ve been planning on forever, five hours is not a very long amount of time - but it’s better than the empty ache of no time at all. Sehun will take what he can get.He’s been waiting since he got home, going through the motions of having dinner and  getting changed out of his work clothes without much thought. The hours had slowly dragged, like Sehun was walking through treacle, but finally the time had come.7 pm had been the deal and when the clock strikes the hour, the doorbell rings.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Farewell goes by so quickly

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you quarantine for letting me get back into EXO properly, that's been the only good thing about this year. So, Baby-L here with my first kpop fanfiction, but I completely fell in love with Seho and I just had to write something.
> 
> It's not my usual thing to write, but my mind wouldn't let go of this idea. Sorry for killing Jun, poor baby doesn't deserve this. It's not meant to be sad or angsty, but you can't tag main character death without a little bit of both.
> 
> Unbeta'd, we die like men blah blah, title from the English translation of 'Starry Night' by Suho
> 
> Cheers

It takes one phone call for Sehun’s world to come crashing to the ground. One phone call, forty seconds of; ‘ _ Is this Oh Sehun? This is the Seoul General Hospital, we have you down as the emergency contact for Kim Junmyeon. We need you to come to the hospital immediately, he’s been involved in an accident.’ _

One phone call and forty seconds. One car with a driver not paying enough attention to the road in the torrential rain, and maybe it’s their fault, maybe it’s the weather. He doesn’t care. Junmyeon is dead and he’s lost everything.

Chanyeol and Jongdae stay with him that first week afterwards - to make sure he feeds himself, or so they say. Sehun’s not stupid though, he knows they’re worried he’s going to off himself, or put himself in danger. So he lets them fuss over him, pliant but unresponsive. It’s not fair that they have to do this, they’re mourning as well. He’s not the only one who lost someone he cares about in the accident, but it’s not the same. They weren’t in love with him; they might have lost a friend, but Sehun lost his entire life. 

He doesn’t know how to move on from here, if he even wants to.

His friends move back out after the week is up, although they still call him several times a day just to make sure he hasn’t dropped dead from grief. Minseok is convinced he’s going to do something stupid - and the older man is right, just not in the way that he was expecting.

It’s not necessarily the fact that Junmyeon is gone that persuades him to go through with it, no. That pain settles within him like he’s being burnt from the inside out, a world without Junmyeon is not a world Sehun feels like living in. Jun being gone keeps Sehun paralysed on the sofa, unable to will himself to even eat without prompting from his friends.

But every second he spends awake is plagued by the thought that he never got to say goodbye. Jun had woken up before him that morning, had probably pressed a kiss to his forehead whilst he had slept, and gone about his day. They’d texted before Jun had left work, a quick ‘ _ on my way home _ ’ and ‘ _ I’ll see you soon _ ’, but that didn’t count. When he racked his brains he couldn’t remember what the last thing he said to him was before they went to bed. 

Did he tell him he loved him? Was it something inane, like ‘have a good sleep’ or ‘see you in the morning’. Sehun knows that Jun knew he loved him, that he adored everything about him, he’d said as much when Sehun had proposed. If only he could assure himself that that was the thought he left Jun with, the last time they spoke.

He’s not foolish enough to think he can bring Junmyeon back  _ permanently _ , as much as he wishes he could. But maybe he could have the next best thing, all he wanted was to see him one last time so he could say goodbye properly. 

It hadn’t taken him as long as he thought it would to get in contact with the right people, the kind of shady, unnatural folk who’d be able to help him. He’d watched tv shows about the supernatural before, but in the end there’d been a lot less symbols and blood than he’d expected. Only a wizened old lady and her cat, a box of herbs and incense that’d been lit on fire and then  _ it  _ had appeared.

Not a demon, but definitely not something human. The Being had taken over the woman's body, and five minutes later had left it, deal sealed and five years of Sehun’s life to its name.

_ ‘ _ _ What will you give me in return?’  _ It had asked in reply to his request.

And he’d almost blurted out; “Anything, take my whole life when you take him back, my body, my soul, I don’t care.”

He hadn’t though. Had for once in his life stopped to think before opening his mouth. He had others to keep in mind; to make Chanyeol and Dae go through the loss of another close friend barely two weeks after Junmyeon passed wasn’t fair. He’s not that selfish, so he’d bargained the last five years off the end of his life, one for each hour he gets with Junmyeon. There was still a chance he wouldn’t make it through the night, but it was better than nothing.

When you’ve been planning on forever, five hours is not a very long amount of time - but it’s better than the empty ache of no time at all. Sehun will take what he can get. 

He’s been waiting since he got home, going through the motions of having dinner and getting changed out of his work clothes without much thought. The hours had slowly dragged, like Sehun was walking through treacle, but finally the time had come. 

7 pm had been the deal and when the clock strikes the hour, the doorbell rings.

He slowly levers himself off the sofa, hesitating when he gets to the door. What he asked for was going against the laws of nature. Whether the Being’s end of the deal was possible he still didn’t truly know and finding out is a scarier prospect than he’d thought it would be. 

The doorbell rings again. He opens the door.

It’s Junmyeon standing there, flesh and blood, and for a moment Sehun forgets how to breathe. Just over a month has passed since he received the phone call from the hospital, since he’d last seen Junmyeon, looking too small and fragile on the hospital bed. It’s the longest he’d gone without the other man since they met all those years ago. 

He looks paler than usual but he’s still the most beautiful person Sehun’s ever seen, even with the purple bags under his eyes, hair wet and plastered to his forehead. His eyes are still welcoming, scanning over Sehun’s face with the same expression of worry and love as he had when he was alive. There’s something far away in that gaze though, like he’s not all here, and when Sehun wraps him in a hug, he’s ice cold under his thin rain jacket.

“Sehunnie.” Jun mumbles into his chest, soaking wet coat and hair dripping onto Sehun’s clothes. It’s just rain, but it’s completely clear and dry outside. It’d been stormy the day of the crash, the constant downpour had kept him at home all day. Curled up cosy on the sofa, no idea what was happening just a few blocks away, “Sehunnie, god I’m so sorry.”

Sehun can’t bring himself to talk, just squeezes him tighter to his chest and presses his cheek to the top of his head. Junmyeon understands, of course he does, he’s always been able to read him too well, and tightens his own arms. They stand there an indeterminable amount of time, maybe minutes, perhaps hours. Sehun knew what he asked for, but it’s different having Jun right there, being able to physically touch and hold him again. 

His fingers flutter over Junmyeon’s cheek, down the side of his neck and over his shoulders. He looks so real, so whole, although he’s not so sure if he can bring himself to believe it. 

“I’m real,” and of course Junmyeon knew what he was thinking, “I don’t know how you did this baby, but I’m real.”

Sehun can’t help but kiss him then, hauling him in and pressing their lips together. Rushed and desperate, he licks into Jun’s mouth, swallowing his little moans and whimpers. His hands cradle Jun’s face, and the older man clings to him, gripping the side of his waist hard enough to bruise. It feels like Sehun’s finally alive again, like whatever dark cloud had permeated his skin was being pushed aside with every kiss. It felt like coming home. 

They break apart breathless, foreheads still pressed together. It occurs to him then what an odd picture they would make, standing there making out on his doorstep. Especially because Junmyeon is dead. He presses one last kiss against Junmyeon’s forehead before taking his hand and tugging him forward; “Let’s go inside.” 

He leads Junmyeon back into their living room, carefully peeling off Jun’s soaked coat and setting it aside. Underneath he’s wearing what he died in, brightly colored scrubs and white trainers. There is a mottled bruise peeping out from under his shirt, it’s an ugly purple color, dark against the white of his skin. It creeps up his neck, and Junmyeon hisses when Sehun lightly brushes his hand against it. 

“From the accident,” Junmyeon says, and Sehun nods as he runs his fingers across the mark, “It should probably look worse.”

Sehun does not like thinking about what Jun looked like after the crash, does not like thinking about him in any way that’s not bright, cheerful and alive. So he just says, “I know. I’ll go find you a jumper to put on, wait here.”

Reluctantly he pulls away, running into the bedroom to grab one of his own sweaters from the wardrobe. All of Junmyeon’s clothes are still hung up there, exactly as they were the day of the crash. He hasn’t had the heart to go through them. When he gets back to the living room, Junmyeon is standing exactly where he left him. He’s staring at the pictures on the mantlepeice, all of the two of them and their group of friends. Jun had spent hours pouring over the hundreds of photo’s deciding which to frame. Over the past month they’ve set Sehun off crying multiple times, but he hasn't let Chanyeol remove them. 

“Here you go,” Handing over the jumper, Sehun watches him pull it on. It’s far too big, the sleeves drooping over his fingertips, and the hem brushing past his butt. He looks like every good memory Sehun has ever had. 

Here in the warmth of their living room he can almost pretend that the accident had never happened, that Junmyeon was still alive and whole. That he’d come home that day, dripping wet from the walk to and from the car, laughing and asking what’s for dinner. This Jun may be cold to the touch, his gaze might not connect fully, but it’s still  _ Junmyeon _ .

Still, there’s something not quite right with the picture in front of him. He tugs at the chain hanging around his neck, letting Junmyeon’s engagement ring slide up and over the collar of his t-shirt. He unclasps the chain, letting the titanium band fall into his palm. Jun makes a soft, aborted noise, reaching for it like he couldn’t help himself. Sehun doesn’t look up, doesn’t want to see if the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes are mirrored by the only man he’s ever really loved. 

“You still have it.”

“Of course I do.” He takes Jun’s hand, holding it like it’s something precious as he slides the ring back where it belongs. 

The ring had always looked right on Junmyeon and Sehun can’t help but stare. Back when they first got engaged, on holiday in L.A, all he’d done for the rest of the trip was sneak glances at it. When they’d held hands strolling along the beach in the evenings, the warm touch of metal against his fingers had sent shivers down his spine.

“Sehunnie,” A soft hand on his cheek, so cold to the touch, “Come back to me love, where’d you go?”

It’s the same tone of voice he’d use when trying to cheer Sehun up from a sulk, or talk him back from the clutches of his nerves. 

“I miss you,” He chokes on his words,burying his face in the crook of Jun’s shoulder. Jun slowly rakes his hand through Sehun’s hair, calmly like he’s soothing a startled animal, “I miss you so much, why’d you have to go?” 

“I’m right here.” But he’s not, not really, he’ll be gone soon, taking his too cold hands and ghostly eyes with him. Midnight, the deal had said, 5 hours and 5 hours only. In the morning, Sehun will wake up alone, the same as he had every day for the past month. He will never see Junmyeon again. 

There’s so much Sehun wants to say to him, the kind of things he thought he would get a chance to say when they were older. He thought they had the time. Yet here he is, with five hours counting down and no idea how to put his thoughts into words in a way that makes sense. .

He was going to spend his life with Jun, had known as much from their first meeting. Chanyeol had introduced them in elementary school; his neighbour and best friend, and they’d been inseparable ever since. It was Junmyeon who’d taught him to drive in Chanyeol’s battered hatchback, who encouraged him to apply for the dance scholarship at the closest arts school. He had been there when Sehun had come out to his parents, squeezing his hand tight through his dad's anger and mom's disappointment. Jun had come to his first dance recital, and his first real performance in college. There hadn’t been a day that went by where he hadn’t made Sehun feel loved, and how is he supposed to express how thankful he is for all of that in words?

They were supposed to get married next year, all their friends and families were going to be there, coming from all corners of the globe. Even Sehun’s parents, who he hadn’t spoken to since he graduated. There’d been a reminder on Sehun’s phone since they’d decided on a date.

Then after that there had been the rest of their lives, just waiting for them. A house somewhere in the suburbs, big enough for a family. Sehun had always wanted a dog, and Jun had wanted kids; they were supposed to have both. The kids would grow up, go to university, have lives and loves of their own. Sehun and Junmyeon would retire to L.A, because Jun had always wanted to live there but he’d never leave his family behind until he was sure they wouldn’t need him anymore. 

Except Jun has left him, for good, not just to go hundreds of miles across the ocean. Sehun still needs Junmyeon, still needs him with every fiber of his being but after midnight he won’t have him anymore. 

What they had planned together, over dinners and in the wee hours of morning curled around each other in bed; it’s a life he hadn’t let himself imagine until he’d had it within his grasp. And now what does he have? An empty house, a broken heart and five hours to try and put himself together enough to carry on anyway. 

“Sehunnie,” Jun says again. Junmyeon is dead, yet he’s still here taking care of Sehun. It’s almost comical, and so typically  _ Junmyeon _ that he can’t help but laugh wetly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just missed you so damn much.”

They end up on the sofa, Sehun on his back and Jun curled up against his chest, head tucked under his chin. Junmyeon draws slow circles across his t-shirt, touch feather light. There had never been any plan for what he would do with the five hours he’d been given, however he thinks if he’d had one, this would have been it. Just the two of them, melting against each other. 

Sehun doesn’t look at the clock, he doesn’t want a reminder of how little time they have left.

“Thank you,” he says, gaze roaming over Junmyeon’s face, trying to memorise every last detail. From the slight flush of his cheeks, the sweep of his eyelashes to the curve of his lips, “I don’t think I said that enough before, but thank you.”

Jun’s fingers stop their meandering, and he cranes his neck to look up at Sehun, “For what Sehunnie?”

“For loving me, for not regretting me.”

“Loving you was the easiest thing I ever did,” He pushes himself up onto his elbows, leaning forward to press a lingering kiss to Sehun’s mouth. It’s gentle, like most things about Junmyeon are, and warm like the rest of him is not anymore, “I would never regret it, you were the best part of my life. You know that.”

“I know-” He starts to say, yet Jun quickly cuts him off with another kiss, more forceful this time, before he starts talking again.

“You have to promise me something, okay? Tell me you’ll live after tonight, that you’ll try to get on with your life. Sehunnie, promise me you won’t let this destroy you.”

_ ‘Too late for that’ _ , he thinks, but hums assent anyway. He’s known Junmyeon for so long, the other man is so thoroughly entwined in every aspect of Sehun’s life that there’s no way to free himself. Even if he hadn’t been desperately in love with him, Jun’s death would have rocked him to the core. 

But Junmyeon’s not having it, holding Sehun’s chin to force him to look into his eyes, “Promise me Oh Sehun. I didn’t want to leave you, I’d do anything for the crash to never have happened. I can’t have you throwing your life away either. Promise me you’ll try.”

Sehun hates the panicked edge to Jun’s tone, so he wraps his own hand around the one at his chin, “Okay, I promise Hyung. I’ll try.”

They’re both crying now, tears slipping down their cheeks, but neither of them acknowledge it. Junmyeon settles back onto his chest, and Sehun just wraps his arms tighter around his icy body. 

He hasn’t felt this warm since the night before the accident, and god he’s so tired, exhaustion finally setting into his bones. It’s the worst timing for it to finally be hitting him, it’s had a whole month where he's done nothing and it chooses now of all moments. It makes sense, in some sort of twisted ironic way; Sehun’s always slept better next to Junmyeon.

“I love you,” His eyes are drooping, but it’s important he gets this out. Has to make sure the last thing he says to Junmyeon before he loses him forever is what he deserves to hear, “I’m always going to love you.”

Sehun thinks he hears Jun reply, but he’s too far gone to make out the words. As far as goodbyes go, it’s the best he could have hoped for.

* * *

When he wakes up the next morning, still sprawled across the sofa, he is alone. The only sign that the events of last night had happened at all is the jarring loss of Jun’s ring from the chain on his neck and a damp wet patch on his shirt where Jun’s hair had been. 

There’s a beam of sunlight that streaks through a gap in the curtains, spotlighting a piece of paper on the coffee table. Even from a distance he can tell it’s in Junmyeon’s handwriting, and he realises that he must have written it after Sehun fell asleep. 

Sitting up he reaches out to scoop it up and tucks it into the pocket of his jeans, smoothing over the bent edge. There’ll be time to read it later, and he will. He’ll read it, and reread a hundred more times tracing over the neat letters. But right now he needs to get something to eat, he should call Chanyeol and see how he’s coping as well. The house needs sorting, Junmyeon had a tendency to collect trinkets they didn’t have room for, but that’s for later.

Sehun doesn’t know how long a life the Being had left him with, but he’s going to try and make the most of it. He has a promise to keep after all.

* * *

_ Dearest Sehunnie,  _

_ I don’t know what you traded for these five hours, but I can’t be mad at you. I think I would have done worse if our positions were reversed. There’s not much time left, it’s almost midnight, but you fell asleep and I wanted to leave you something.  _

_ I am sorry, first of all, to leave you at all, I wouldn’t have done it willingly. There was never a waking minute where I doubted that we would be together forever, and all my dreams were of you too.  _

_ I love you Sehunnie, I hope I never gave you reason to doubt that but it bears repeating. I loved you when we met, I loved you every day we spent together and I’ll continue to love you when I leave. Don’t you forget it. Go live the life we planned, even if I cannot be there to do it with you. Get that dog, move to L.A, anything you want to do you can do Sehunnie, I believe in you.  _

_ I love you.  _

_ Junmyeonnie.  _

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it, kudos and comments are always appreciated. 
> 
> If anyone is curious, I personally headcanon that after this Sehun does lead a long, fairly happy life. He tries to date a few times but it never really works so he gives up after a while, content with his friends and family. He does eventually adopt two dogs, a kid and moves to L.A, not necessarily in that order. It’s hard, but he doesn’t do it alone, Chanyeol and the rest of his friends support him, the dogs and the kid through it all. Sehun never takes off the engagement ring, he keeps the letter, and he never stops loving Junmyeon.
> 
> If you feel like it go ahead and follow my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ohsehun_iverse), it's a new account but I'm always down to talk and yell about EXO. Love you all!
> 
> Cheers


End file.
